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機種変更

しばらくブログから遠ざかっていましたが、
またちょこちょこと続けていこうと思います。

先日、携帯電話を変更しに、某量販店へ行きました。
いつも閉店間際に寄ると、お渡しは明日以降の張り紙がしてあるので
今回は早めに行きました。

順番札を取ると、後15分かかるので先に買い物があればどうぞと係員。
買い物後、しばらく待ってようやく順番が来た。

契約内容を細かく指示して、い~ぱい書類を書いて、確認事項に同意。
これで30分以上費やしてます。

最後に受け取り予定時刻を聞くと閉店時刻すぎ(苦笑)
なんとかお持ち帰りすることができました。

担当の方ありがとうございました m(_ _)m

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> 担当の方ありがとうございました m(_ _)m
いえいえ, お買いあげありがとうございました(・∀・)ニヤニヤ

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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

I have witnessed that sensible real estate agents all around you are starting to warm up to FSBO Advertising. They are seeing that it's more than merely placing a sign in the front yard. It's really concerning building associations with these traders who at some time will become consumers. So, whenever you give your time and energy to assisting these retailers go it alone - the "Law regarding Reciprocity" kicks in. Good blog post.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

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I am not young enough to know everything.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

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The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

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Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

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I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

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I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

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My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

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Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

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Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

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Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

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Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

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In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

The truth is more important than the facts.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

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I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

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To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

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We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

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The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Some truly fantastic posts on this web site , thanks for contribution.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Some times its a pain in the ass to read what people wrote but this website is very user pleasant! .

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

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I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

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I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

The truth is more important than the facts.

The truth is more important than the facts.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Anyone here play word of warcraft? Looking for new guild members.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

I am not young enough to know everything.

I am not young enough to know everything.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

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Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Nice blog you created! It looks very well laid out, and looks like you know exactly what you're doing. I'll definitely be back to catch up on more of the stuff you write :DD

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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

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Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Why don't you write books people can read?

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

You can definitely see your skills in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe. At all times go after your heart.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If a man does his best, what else is there?

If a man does his best, what else is there?

If a man does his best, what else is there?

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

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C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

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